Tuesday, May 15, 2012

more frequently asked questions


In which I address the three questions that flooded in while I was away, 
plus a couple I added myself to make me feel loved

We're having a get together on Sunday week; would you like to come along to the luxe environment of the Censored Hotel and give a little talk on interiors or how to make yogurt? There'll be cakes!

God no.

Why not? It would be a chance to wear your charming ivory dress, the one with grosgrain ribbon and a sixties vibe.

There is that, but no. I shall have to spring the dress on the ladies of the parish at the protest march against the ladies of the neighbouring parish. Have you tried contacting Justin Timberlake?

But what have you got against meeting people?

They might be just as chirpy and supportive in real life as they are on screen, and I would find that draining. What if they fished photos of their painted armoires and courgette & polenta muffins out of their wallet and then mentioned Jesus in passing?


Dear Mise, we here at Acme Ventures Inc. enjoy reading your blog Pretty Far West and would like to interest you in collaborating with us on a money-making venture. We will insert randomly chosen buzzwords in this sentence. Get in touch if you'd like to learn more! Jemima xxx

No thanks, Jemima. I already have heaps of money.

Can you remind me how to pronounce Mise?

Meh-sha. Like that. It just means 'myself' in Irish.  Tusa means 'yourself.'  That's you.

Why don't you use your real name?

In case people drive past my house, pointing and laughing.


44 comments:

  1. Surely I am Mise and you Tusa? Just a thought...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So true, Sue; the whole thing is fraught with complexity. It's just as well that the case of wine has arrived.

      Delete
  2. You are funny....seriously funny....

    ReplyDelete
  3. I wouldn't go that hotel anyway, I've heard talk.
    Any bloggers I have met have been relievably normal, and have bought their round.
    Please pass my name on to Jemima; I do not have heaps of money and I can make up buzz words.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are a good, kind person, Speccy. I hope one day to buy my round.

      Delete
  4. Hello Mise [pronounced Meh-sha]:
    Oh no, oh no,oh no.......please do not say that Jemima has contacted you too!!! She promised us endless wealth, celebrity filled days, a television,fame, fortune and champagne....how could she be so fickle and promise all of this to you too. We are distraught, we are sad, we feel betrayed, cheapened no less.........now, all we have left is the hope, just a tiny, tiny glimmer of hope, that in all the many thousands of entrants we may win the soap giveaway. But, dearest Mise [pronounced deeeerest Meh-sha], should our names not be drawn from the hat, should we in fact be losers please let us down gently. There is only so much a blogger can take!!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A television, Jane and Lance: she courts you mercilessly. The giveaway lies heavily on my heart now; I don't see how I could break it to you that you haven't won (in that unfortunate eventuality). I am flying a trained counselling team over to Hungary to be at the ready to help you face your loss; please keep no detail of your childhood years from them.

      Delete
    2. And it will me Mise aka Hajni @ Mianra Artisan Soaps who will be flying to Hungary in just 3 weeks time.!!! Could counselling be any better than that? There is hope Jane and Lance there surely is!!!

      Delete
  5. .... humorously enlightening Mise ..... I feel as if I know you so much better now ! Would I sign this Mise or Tusa? XXXX

    ReplyDelete
  6. You bring laughs and smiles the moment I open your email.
    Maybe you would be more comfortable if you had a dress in ecru with satin ribbon...

    xoxo
    Karena
    Art by Karena
    (Mise or Tusa)

    ReplyDelete
  7. PS Could I have just a bottle or two for today!?

    xoxo
    K

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Come over, Karena! The decanter is decanting as I type.

      Delete
  8. Mise you are a scream, you made me cough and splutter on my chocolate muffin, shop bought obviously. Jemima hasn't contacted me, I am seriously put out. I always thought she was a cow.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have asked Jemima to get in touch straight away, Susan. I told her that you write anguished poetic pieces hewn from the rough beauty of the Northern landscape and that there is a potential for financial exploitation. I hope that's ok.

      Delete
  9. I read it, smiled, came back just to read and smile again!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. To be reread is a great honour, Jen.

      Delete
  10. Jemima hasn't called me but I will ask Omar and Anabelle to give her a ring and request contact.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, LPC. A room at the Waldorf for me too, please, when Omar and Anabelle have a moment.

      Delete
  11. Gales of laughter here in Virginia.

    But you have made me stop and think that no one has contacted me recently offering goods for giveaways or sex.
    Humph.

    xo Jane

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's hard to believe, Jane. Shall I courier a cunning little handmade paper notebook to you along with a few trumped-up lavender sachets? Could GG be intercepting your email?

      Delete
  12. Mise..you crack me up every time!

    Thank you :)

    Jeanne xx

    ReplyDelete
  13. oh, strewth - expecting you to sell your soul for cake of all things!

    ReplyDelete
  14. It's almost like we are in the same room. I was contemplating how to respond to your witty post here, paused, clicked on my email, and there you were, a new comment from you on my post. This was very close to an actual conversation with Pretty Far West. I'm honored.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Oh I promise not to drive past your house laughing and pointing. I'll just stare at you instead. ;)

    ReplyDelete
  16. Your fears about meeting real people are absolutely correct. I for one have always have my wallet stuffed full of lifestyle photos, witty asides and very tiny pictures of people who follow me, ready to whip out at just such an encounter.

    ReplyDelete
  17. So when I am saying Dear Mise, I am actually saying Dear me! Which is a gentle old-fashioned way of expostulating in a sympathetic, slightly astonished voice. Just the right tone to adopt for a comment on almost any post in fact.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Ah thank goodness - I had been stumbling about waiting for answers to questions such as these. Mind you, I must say I did find the thought of someone fishing a courgette and polenta muffin out of their purse and waving it about somewhat alarming. But that aside - a jolly good set of FAQs Mise - much appreciated! Annie x

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  19. Mise, I thought your name was French. Here I was, thinking that it was short for mise en place! xx

    ReplyDelete
  20. It stands to reason you can't be bought with cake or the ideas of even more fame and fortune from yoghurt demonstrations.
    But I'll bet if the right pair of shoes were dangled as bait you might take a bite.
    I am feeling terribly left out as Jemima has not made contact.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Oh Mise (or should I say Tusa)! You crack me up:)))))!!!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Mise you really make me laugh, not in a driving by your house and pointing way!
    No real name, no photo of me on my blog, it would make me squirm if all the farmers read my blog. Stripey leggings on Issy are Penneys!

    Take care

    Denise

    ReplyDelete
  23. You were quite right to decline the Censored Hotel. 'Luxe' can be deceiving.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Haha! Killer post! I only wish I could join in with all the witty-ness but, alas, I'm an idiot in that department! Enjoying all the exchanges you've cranked up!

    ReplyDelete
  25. Hello Mise

    Oh dear you have me worried. You have taken delivery of a box of wine. You are planting poppies. Now I fear you win win a pipe as a givaway or a still for manufacting poitin.

    Then you will be signing off Tá mé ar meisce, Mise
    (meisce = drunk)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're right, Helen! I'm worried now by those two extra letters. Very clever!

      Delete
  26. I thought that the old FAQ was wonderfully witty but this is now my favourite pretty far west post !

    ReplyDelete
  27. you will always be 'your majesty' to mise .
    i fell a poem coming on ....

    is mise, mise fresin,
    me fein ,tú hein
    tusa tu tú
    mise me mo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear Jaboopee,

      With this grasp of grammar and poetic nuance, is there a chance that the world of glass and mosaic can spare you to lucrative full-time paid commenting?

      In hope, in hope,
      Mise

      Delete
  28. I'm with Annie on the courgette and polenta muffin. Surely not in blogtopia? And Mey-sha - I'm glad we cleared that up. Won't tell you how I was pronouncing Mise, kiwi accent and all. Mind you, on that occasion when I was posting you a little almost-giveaway-win, and so you divulged your real name and address, not that I would point and laugh, but seriously (!) how would one even begin to pronounce them in order to drive by?

    ReplyDelete
  29. There is some big blogger event going on in NYC right now. Would never dream of leaving my computer to attend.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Nice post, you are a very talented blogger. www.pillspillspillscheap.com

    ReplyDelete
  31. I will try my very best from here on out to refer to you by the true pronunciation of your nom de plume...but I do believe I will miss my 'very best friend', 'Meese'...very much.
    xo J-

    ReplyDelete

You're looking particularly well.

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